Edmanji  Rewrite
by HyperInuyasha
Summary: It's back! Ed and Eddy discover a secret room in Double D's house, along with an odd game called Jumanji..


_Edmanji - Rewrite_

_A/N: Ahh, memories... I was such an idiot back then._

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><p>It was a nice sunny Summer. In fact, it was so nice and sunny that Double D and his family had left on vacation. They had hired Ed and Eddy to do some house-sitting for them until they get back. Too bad that Ed and Eddy aren't competent. At all.<p>

"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!" yelled Eddy. He rode atop a vacuum Edd had modified into a ride so he could clean the house while having fun at the same time. Chasing him was Ed, weilding the accursed elevator boots.

"Oh yes I can, because I am Gravy Man!" laughed Ed. Pressing a button, he extended the boots, smashing them into Eddy... and making him fly across the hall and through a random wall.

"Ouch... Great! Nice going monobrow! Sockhead's going to expect us to fix this!" complained Eddy.

"Ooh! You found a secret room!" pointed out Ed. The idiot was right. The wall had concealed a secret room in the house. They knew it was secret because A, it did not have any identifiable entrance into the room, and B, the room looked untouched and dusty, and Edd and his family hated dust. They looked at each other and ran into the room. The room stored many artifacts and old things in the room, like old time records and antique hunting rifles. But then Ed found something that would change their day... "JUMANJI!"

Eddy scowled, while trying on a bowler hat, "What?"

"I found a cool game!" said Ed. He brought out what appeared to be a board game of some sort. "Come on! Let's play!"

"Well, there's nothing good on tv till 3, so why not?" The two brought the board game to Edd's living room and set it up on the floor. Other than some dice, there were no game pieces, as they were all connected to the board. Eddy looked at the instruction booklet, "Jumanji, a gripping jungle adventure. Before you start, we warn you that you may die in the process and, yeah right." He crumpled up the instruction booklet and threw it over his shoulder.

"Eddy, we should read that! Mommy said that if I don't read things, I would be not smart. And if I'm not smart, I won't know how to breathe. And if I don't know how to breathe, _WE'RE GONNA DIE EDDY!_" screamed Ed.

"...Yeah, that's a 'you' problem Ed." muttered Eddy. Since Ed was too busy being a babbling idiot, Eddy decided to go first. He rolled a five. A built-in game piece moved five spaces ahead and suddenly a card popped out. Eddy had to admit that this was impressing for what looks like an old game. "Wow, nice game." He took the card. "A monkey steals your food... go back to start? Aw man!" He noticed that Ed was snickering. "You're making fun of me, aren't you?"

"No... MONKEY!" yelled Ed. Eddy then noticed that a monkey had suddenly appeared on his shoulder. "Hi monkey! Do you want to hug Ed?" He tried to pry the monkey off of Eddy, but the monkey angrily screeched. The monkey jumped into the kitchen, opening up the fridge. Ed and Eddy followed just in time to see the monkey jumping out the window, with all of the food from the fridge.

"...Woah. ...Ed, can I see those instructions? And don't say I told you so." Ed handed him the instruction booklet. "_WARNING: Everything that happens in this game will become real. This will only be reversed when a player reaches the last space and yells, Jumanji. We are not responsible for loss of sanity, missing limbs, death, and poison ivy._ ...Well this is just great."

"Oh oh! My turn my turn!" Ed ran back to the gameboard and rolled a 3. Another card popped out. "Forest grows well, advance 3 spaces. HOORAY FOR MAGIC! I, ED THE WIZARD, SHALL HARNESS MAGIC AND BECOME FRIENDS WITH PINNOCHIO!" laughed Ed. Suddenly, Double D's house changed. Roots grew from the floor as trees rose, with the ceiling going higher to allow space. Grass grew in various places while plants grew out of furniture.

"Double D's going to kill us." said Eddy.

"He won't if we're wizards!" said Ed.

"...My turn again." He rolls a 6 and gets another card. "You're being hunted down by a puma. Go back to star- OH COME ON I'M GETTING NOWHERE!" whined Eddy. That's when he heard the growling. He turned to see a rather large and unhappy puma. "Uh... nice kitty."

"HALT PUMA! I SHALL STOP YOU WITH MY WIZARD POWERS!_ AVADA KEDAVRA_!" yelled Ed. This did nothing but make the Puma angrier. Eddy grabbed Ed by the neck and ran before the Puma could bite him. "Hey! I didn't use my wizard powers yet!"

"You're not a wizard Ed, but if we don't get out, we're going to be Puma food!" yelled Eddy. They ran upstairs as the puma silently followed behind. They passed by the secret room... and Eddy remembered the antique rifles that were stashed there. "Hey Ed, distract the puma, will you?"

"Only if you admit that I'm a wizard." said Ed, with a smug look on his face.

"...Fine. You're a wizard." said Eddy. The puma growled, pouncing towards them but missing by a few feet. Eddy quickly ran into Double D's room and hid in a bush as Ed ran from the puma, while yelling taunts and spells. Making sure that the coast is clear, Eddy ran back to the secret room and checked one of the rifles. One of them still had bullets in them.

"AHH! EDDY! MY WIZARD POWERS AREN'T WORKING AND HE'S GOING TO GET ME!" cried Ed.

"Don't worry lumpy, I'm coming!" yelled Eddy. Picking up a rifle, he ran toward Ed, who was backed into a corner by the puma. The puma turned, trying to decide who was the better meal. Deciding that Eddy would be less chewy, the puma prepared to pounce on the smaller boy. But before he could attack, Eddy pulled the trigger. A bullet pierced through the puma's skull, killing it instantly. The body falled to the ground, letting it's blood flow on the hallway flo- er, jungle floor.

"Whoo hoo! We did it! With your hunting skills and my wizard powers, we're invincible!" cheered Ed. Eddy rolled his eyes and they went back to the gameboard. Ed rolled a 4 and picked up another card. "Uh... you get another explorer lost. Go ahead 7 spaces."

"What! Getting someone else lost gets you ahead? _HOW_!" yelled Eddy.

"Oh hey guys! I didn't know you had a personal jungle!" greeted a familiar voice; Johnny stood over them. "This is so cool, huh Plank?" Ed gasped.

"Wait... if you and Plank are here too... THEN THIS MEANS YOU'RE ALSO WIZARDS!" said Ed.

"Hear that Plank? We're wizards!" said Johnny. Eddy resisted the urge to shoot himself as he rolled.

"Hippos destroy supplies. Lose a turn." said Eddy. He looked around to see that he was surrounded by hippos while Ed and Johnny sat in a nice, far, safe place. Eddy gulped. "I regret nothing."

"Popcorn, Ed?" offered Johnny as he watched Eddy get ripped apart by hippos.

"Yum! Buttery!" said Ed, taking a handful of popcorn. They watched the carnage until the hippos finally left, leaving Eddy a trampled and injured mess.

"Ow... you guys are no help at all!" yelled Eddy.

"You're welcome Eddy!" Ed rolled again. Eddy gasped; Ed was almost close to the end. Another card popped out. "T-Rex appears! Try to survive!"

"What." said Eddy. Then rocks and dust fell from the sky. Eddy looked up, having forgotten that there was a ceiling. Said ceiling fell apart , revealing a T-Rex. "This... this is just cruel."

"Whoo-hoo! This is awesome!" cheered Johnny.

"Ed! Roll one more time! I'll try to distract it!" yelled Eddy.

"Aw, but I want to keep it Eddy."

**_ROOOOOOOOOAR!_**

"...I'm doing it Eddy!" Ed picked up the dice...

The T-Rex roared and leaned in, ready to eat someone.

He shook it in his hands...

Eddy got an idea. "Hey! Eat this!" He threw Johnny at the T-Rex. The T-Rex caught him in his mouth...

Ed threw the dice...

To everyone's surprise, the T-Rex's fangs were unable to pierce Johnny's head. "Hey guys! Look at me!" said Johnny cheerfully.

The dice tumbled around...

The T-Rex attempted to chew Johnny, but to no avail.

The dice stopped at 7, which was enough for Ed to reach the end. His piece began to move...

"Woah!" screamed Johnny. The T-Rex had said, "screw this guy", and threw him, decideding to eat someone who's head isn't hard and huge.

The piece reached the end.

"JEBEDIAH!" yelled Ed triumphantly.

"Ed you idiot, it's Jumanji!" yelled Eddy. Eddy widened his eyes as the t-rex singled him out for his meal...

"JUMANJI!" Suddenly, there was a burst of light. The light soon went away, revealing the house. The jungle was now gone, without a trace in sight. All of the food was back in the fridge. The t-rex had disappeared along with the puma corpse and Johnny. But there was one problem left...

"We have to fix the wall!" yelled Eddy. He picked up the game board and threw it into the secret room, hoping to god that he wouldn't have to play it ever again. He and Ed scrambled around, looking for things to fix the wall. While gathering some paint, Eddy began to think..

What was Jumanji, and why does Double D have it?

But he shrugged. Everyone was okay, and that's all that mattered.

_The End?_


End file.
